Life

Thoughts #5

I’ve lately been having far too many thoughts jumbled around in my head and felt I needed to jot them down. Here goes…

thoughts

#1 I start university in little over a month. What. The. Heck. I’m excited as hell but at the same time I’m absolutely terrified. How will I cope with the workload, especially after not doing any studying for the past 14 months?! What if I get there and realise they made a mistake and actually, sorry, I’m not good enough to go. I feel so unprepared for the studying part of uni (the socialising/making friends/moving out I’m more than fine with haha!)

#2 Kinda related… I’m really beginning to get stressed out about the prep work we’re supposed to have done before starting. I’ve sort of got it under control (meaning = I have a plan I’ve written out…) but I should’ve started earlier! Or I should at least just get on with it instead of continuously putting it off. And don’t even get me started on the so-called ‘Reading List’ – I don’t know how I’m going to cope, arghhhh

#3 I’ve lost so much muscle over the past month (okay, yes, I essentially lost it all whilst travelling but I mean I’ve lost even more in a shorter space of time??) I need to get back into exercise because I feel so flabby and urgh. I want to be really fit and healthy before uni because: a) I want to look and feel good, b) I want to join in with sports societies and c) I need to have some leeway if I end up gaining weight in first term… & I know people will say being fit/slim doesn’t matter and I should be happy in my own body blah blah blah but in all honesty, I’m doing this for me. It’s just a personal choice and something I just need to get on with.

#4 I’m losing all of my Chinese knowledge. Help. I miss China so, so much and I think I’ll end up writing a post about how different this visit to China was (from an adoptee’s perspective). I’ve come across Mandarin-speaking people at work and just hearing people on the tube and I get so annoyed/frustrated at how after being back in the UK for two months, my Mandarin proficiency seems to have dwindled. I need to finish my grammar notes and keep going over vocabulary but it’s so tough doing that on top of my intensive Latin prep 🙁

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#5 I’m so rubbish at editing videos on iMovie. It takes me f-o-r-e-v-e-r  which is why I haven’t managed to stick to my posting schedule for the past two three weeks?! I need to fix this if my hope of weekly vlogging at university actually becomes a thing (and I really, really, really want it to). So apologies everyone… that’s if you watch my videos at all aha 😉

#6 I really want to get back into running and *potentially* even dancing. I’ve planned some runs for this week so I’ll see how they go – I’m definitely motivated to get back into it all! I can’t believe my half-marathon was over two years ago, I need to get back to that level of fitness! I’d like to take up kick-boxing ad yoga too so hopefully I’ll be able to at uni (if not, then very soon somehow haha).

#7 Is it because I’m so used to being entirely independent, because our personalities can clash sometimes, or because of a deeper, more underlying issue that my Mum and I don’t get along in certain circumstances? 90% of the time we get along so well and we’re really close (I tell her everything) but when we disagree or when something crops up, I can’t deal with it. I don’t know what it is but it’s something I need to work on. And is it normal, particularly after being away from home for so long, that I don’t always enjoy being here hahah? (note: I’m only including this as it’s a thought & easier/better for me to jot down).

#8 I need to become more organised. People who know me in person say I’m the most organised person they have ever met but I’m honestly not. I have a bullet journal that I’ve recently started but that’s only things written down on paper, it doesn’t mean that the things are actually done. So from now on, I’m actively making sure I get the things done and don’t procrastinate (I’m so, so good at this) so I’ll need to dedicate times in the day for certain things. I need to get on top of uni work, reading, uni packing, blogging, YouTubing and everything else in between (including tidying my room, sighhh).

#9 I love meeting new people and making new friends but I don’t seem to have many recently in the blogging world so come and say hi! I recently bumped into two Portuguese guys in London and, being the friendly Londoner I am, got chatting and we’re actually going to Nando’s next week 😂  Bloggers & YouTubers alike, please send me a tweet or a message on Instagram – always looking for new blogger friends!

#10 I’m thinking about planning a bloggers event in London later this year for the sole purpose of getting people together and meeting new people. I’d love to hear your thoughts – would you be up for coming/interested in an event? What would you like to be there?? Throw ideas at me!

I think that’s it for now guys but expect a similar post if there are even more thoughts 😉

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Peace and love,
Viola xo

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