Thoughts #4

I haven’t done one of these posts in a while and I think now is the time to start them again. I like to have a ramble about all the jumbled thoughts in my mind (and, if you’re like me, you’ll enjoy reading these sorts of posts too!)

Yesterday, I was frantically texting every person I knew who had applied to Oxford: It is not the end of the world if you don’t get an offer. There are so many other fab universities out there. (plus, they are all destined to be stars anyway, regardless of which university they end up at). I for one wasn’t expecting anything less than a flat-out rejection. And you know what? I was absolutely fine with that. I had finally managed to overcome the ‘Oxbridge’ barrier and realised that, for me at least, I didn’t mind if I didn’t get in. Not only was I almost certain I hadn’t done enough in my interviews anyway, but I genuinely loved my other universities and their courses (Classics, Chemistry, Chinese, Spanish and Psychology modules all in one degree? Yes please *heart eyes*). On the other hand, Oxford would be a great opportunity and would be extremely hard to turn down.

Today was the day that Oxford applicants found out the decision post-interview. Unsurprisingly, I wasn’t particularly worried or stressed out about the result, however I did feel the nerves start to kick in as I walked home to see if the post had arrived. The college I had applied to (New College) sent both an email and a letter. As proof that I strongly believed I hadn’t got in, I left my phone at home in the morning and refused to check my emails before I had opened the letter. I was more worried about how I would get my rejection. As funny as it might sound, I really couldn’t bear the thought of being rejected via email and then having to physically open a letter telling me the exact same thing. Being the stubborn person that I am, I refused to check, or even refresh, my emails before I had opened the envelope. You could call me crazy.

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When I got home at about 11:50am, the post hadn’t arrived. I waited with my sister (who was on study leave for mocks) for the postman. Meanwhile, I had been checking my phone (not emails though) to see what everyone else had to say. Plenty of my friends from the Oxford Summer School and the Eton Summer School had posted statuses on Facebook that they had received offers. I was genuinely so happy for them and told them I would have to visit them all the time in my gap year! About an hour later and the post still hadn’t arrived. Grr.

I went back to school quite annoyed because I had already prepared myself to accept the rejection – but it hadn’t even arrived yet! I was due to leave school in the middle of Period 5 to go to my orthodontist appointment (my braces came off today, WOOO) so I decided to quickly rush home beforehand to check whether the post had come. It had. After going to the toilet, I was mentally rehearsing what the letter would say in my head: “Dear Viola, Further to your application to read Classics at New College, I regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place.” The envelope was suspiciously thin (A5 in size) and so I knew that it had to be a rejection. [Yes, I know the letter size is a rumour but you can’t help yourself!] I braced myself and opened the letter. Scanning the first couple of words I couldn’t believe what I was reading. And now I feel like a complete and utter hypocrite.

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Hope you liked this post!

Peace and love,
Viola xo


20 years old | bit of a nerd | thoughts about life | travel, fitness, fashion + student blog |
Posts created 152

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